From Flats To Lofts

our lives within these walls

The Plague of 2013

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I often feel that my sister has a more glamorous life than I do. She has been traveling the world since she was 14 or so, and is quite adventurous. Like me give you an example from the past couple of weeks:

Ruthanne is in South Florida enjoying:

calm seas{the beach}

I am in Kentucky dealing with hundreds of stink bugs. I won’t put a picture because I don’t want to traumatize you. We have tried a multitude of bug sprays, soapy water, bleach, vinegar, yelling, stomping, hitting, and crying. Nothing works. They are trying to invade our happy little loft, and hibernate for the winter.  This has been going on for weeks now, and the only relief we’ve had is the few cold nights fall has brought us. I have never been so happy to wake up to forty degree temps!

This past week we thought the cold was finally helping us win the battle. I haven’t had to kill one inside since Saturday night, and there have only been a few on the porch.

Well, that all changed at about 10 am this morning. Here is the email I sent my family after what may have been the worst five minutes I have ever spent at work:

There was a stink bug in my jacket. That I was wearing. For three hours.
I felt something in on my arm so I scratched it because I thought it was a string, but then I felt it moving, and crushed it and it squirted me and then I ripped my jacket off, and there was a big wet spot from the bug juices on it, so I coated my arm in hand sanitizer, and then put my jacket in the trunk of my car tied up in a target bag, and went to the bathroom (which is so far away in these emergency situations) and had to search every piece of clothing for more.
And then I washed my arm in super hot water, and came back to my desk, and sanitized it again. And now I’m itchy and grossed out, and may have to set myself on fire.
Also, if you are reading this and happen to live in my house, you may want to put everything in the closet by the front door in the trash, because really, after this do we really need those shoes, jackets, winter coats & hats & scarves, bags, dog food, and vacuum cleaner? I don’t think so.
Ruthanne, the good news is that your coat will be freshly dry cleaned in time for your visit and future move . The bad news is that I will probably be dead.

So, there you have it. The story of my totally not glamorous morning. I work in a trailer from 1970 and I bring stink bugs with me to work to add to the lovely aromas of a trailer in a construction equipment parking lot next to the exhaust pipes for a propane storage facility. It’s seriously classy around here. Or not. I hope your weekend is better than my morning has been!! Honestly, it couldn’t be much worse.

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One thought on “The Plague of 2013

  1. Pingback: Winter Flowers | From Flats To Lofts

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